On those longing times, there was not the famous "black-outs" of the modern era, that they happen today, for blame of the governments' inefficiency, of govern and non-govern, only worry to pay the interests of the foreign debts, that stopped investing in the hydroelectric expansion of the country, resulting in the inevitable " black-out" of the life.

But we leave aside our current energy problems and let us return to the Past, in the Sixties years, where the youth policeman Arquimedes paraded for the streets of the old metropolis of São Paulo, elegant and graceful, with the uniform blue tergal, adorned of brilliant gold buttons, adorned with white cordon, leggings of the same color on black shoes, white gloves seizing long sword, prey in belt of thick leather, closed with inserted gold buckle. Strip of green-yellow silk adorned of metallic flags, of the languages spoken by the policemen interpreters. He seemed a traveling Christmas tree, however guaranteed success among the women.

Ah! Longing Guard Civil of State of São Paulo of the elite of the Sixties years.

Produced " like this ", policeman Arquimedes was convoked in a very chic club. It was the party of the new English consul's reception. Luxurious party living room, crystal glosses shining as diamonds, red velvet covering armchairs, Persian rugs and towels linen laceworks on the tables. A lot of English porcelain, slavic cups of brilliant crystals, with drunk multicolored. Elegant waiters, orchestra playing, couples dancing. Finally, a luxury never seen, as always it happens at the parties of the discharge São Paulo's high society.

In this climate, Arquimedes and his companion, policeman Josafá, of long days, they penetrated and they were posted in a square of the living room. Correct posture of welded sentry: phlegmatic, erect, silent and absolutely immobile. He remembered, in that instant, of the salt chicken appetizers ingested at the bar and he felt their frenzied jumps causing terrible abdominal colics. The cold perspiration wetting the face, and it ran for the feverish backs. He needed to evacuate urgent, avoiding a larger and terrible evil to happen. He ran for bathroom of the servants: small, dirty, without light, sanitary vase without plastic cover, very different of WC of the elite people, although the excrements are same and level the social classes. They stink of the same way.

In the dark cubicle, the soldier's battle undressing of the uniform, the festive and pomp components, belt, revolver and sword. He arose in the vase to avoid contamination. The pants and the short fell, the tunic opened, the revolver he held in the hand and the long bomb, discolored by the diarrhea, it followed her final destiny. He got ready and he alleviated and happy returned to the living room. He didn't outline it, he crossed for the center and he found strange the guests' behavior, that stood back perplexed, giving up him the passage. Alarmed, with frenzied gestures, the companion Josafá asked for hurry and he told him:

- " Arquimedes, for God's sake, return fast to the bathroom, because yours sword is all dirty of shit ".

Arquimedes looked at the sword and he noticed that his beautiful sword was whole splashed and decorated with the fecal mud. Because it is, in the darkness, he had forgotten to lift the sword. He returned, he tried to light the lamp, but he only found free threads, he united them in a stranger union, that instead of lighting the light, it provoked the famous and unexpected " black-out ", after a small one and filled with smoke short circuit, where the light was not made (Non Fiat Lux). Arquimedes cannot evaluate, in that moment, the extension of his unlucky feat. He cleaned how he was able his sword in the corridor and he returned to the living room party.

Total darkness. Terrible chaos reigned in that place. Terrified musicians keeping instruments, waiters sought candles and the "maítre" he roared curses, calling obscenes names, for the “irresponsible invisible

person", that cause the " black-out ". Arquimedes didn't tried to excuse and explained the situation, he saved his skin, decamping quickly of there.

The Consul's party finished. The discouraged and fetid policeman, to avoid in the future new " scatologies black-outs ", he oath for himself, never again took in his life to eat " centennial salt chicken appetizers ", in the bars of the life...

(Story published in the Literary " Anthology Black-Out (apagão) to the Brazilian - Humor in Bright Daylight" of the New Author's Editora House - 2003 - Pages 35, 36 and 37).

_________________________________________

Indique este Site!

Send for friends!

_________________________________________

" THE SCATOLOGY BLACK-OUT "