on/off
“
THE FIND AGAIN THE LOST LOVE “
(story)
The Love is a feeling difficult of being defined and whenever we looked words in search of, that better can express what it is going in our hearts, we felt how innocuous they are and that finish us leaving more confused and lost in the labyrinthes of our emotions.
Our poets already said that the Love has an intrinsic entail with the
Nature and it finds his poetic metaphors in a cloud that passes, in the sun that
shines when being born and it agonizes in the breast of the afternoon, in the
rain that falls, it penetrates in the soil and
reproduces the wonderful cycle
of the
life.
We were excited when we heard a song, when we crossed glances and we felt
that we are fallen in love, a gesture, a spontaneous affection and a certainty
that we are persons, that don't get to live solitary and we needed some of the
other ones to love and to complete our perennial existences and when we didn't
find that somebody to share with our
lives, or we insist on being distant, isolated of the world, we ended up turning
half of
us same.
The solitude, even if it was brief, it produces an anguish difficult of
being supported, and lived. This was exactly the sensation that Johnny felt when
he perceived that he was suddenly private of the person's presence that him more
he loved, his dear companion, of long days,
to who he
called Fafá
affectionately.
Johnny and Fafá, couple retired sexagenarians, tired of the routine
sameness of the life, they decided to travel, taking advantage of the twilight
of their existences for they accomplish the rocked to sleep dream of whole the
retired, that has self-respect - to do a very long trip and to take delight
the delicacies of an unworried and replete life of pleasures.
They left for the North of the country, Pará and Amazonas and of there
they took a walk until Venezuelan
Caribbean, more exactly in the aphrodisiac " Isla Margarita ", where
they could appreciated the sun
" caliente " and a second honeymoon, in that wonderful tourist
place.
Perhaps, we are not understanding the reason of Johnny's anguish and the
answer could be in the simple fact of we don’t
value the people that we
loved. We are relapsers with our feelings and the sameness of our daily one
gives us the false impression that we are owners of the life, making to believe
us that nothing, nothing could cover the
shine of our happiness. Sad and cruel mistake.
Arriving in Ciudad Bolivar's Bus station, in Venezuela, Johnny left the
wife in an of the platforms and he went to the ticket-office window of the
company, where he was informed for the employee that the bus would come out
within ten minutes. He came back quickly to the place where had left Fafá
waiting, he informed her of this fact, he caught the luggages and he hurried in
the direction of the embarkment platform.
The problem is that he ran a lot. In your desire to arrive soon to the
bus, he didn't notice that had left the wife very back; she not getting to
accompany him in your wild race, her ended herself
losing. She disappeared how
she was been a needle in the hayloft, in the middle of that immense crowd.
Desperate, Johnny asked that the driver waited for a little and he ran
terrified in several directions, trying to find the disappeared wife. Nervous,
with the heart to the jumps, in an unrestricted anxiety, he try to catch a
glimpse, in the middle of that crowd, the loved
figure of Fafá, but no matter how much he looked, he didn't get to see her in
space none. He looked, he looked and anything of Fafá. The anguish took care of
the old retired, he didn't control his emotions
and began to burst into
tears. He had lost
his companion,
everything because
of his
stupidity of
hurrying in front, instead of walking beside the wife, as they make the
normal husbands.
When he felt that the loss could be irreparable, that thought gave him
the exact notion of what it would be his life without her and he felt how it
embitters, the pain of a loss, like it hurts in the heart and the certainty that
he loved her a lot and that he didn't suspect, until then, of
the force
of that
feeling.
He closed the eyes and he prayed asking for help. He felt peace in the
spirit and calmer and so he can saw in the middle of that human mass an enormous
" hair peak ", that passed from
a side to the other, in one of the platforms. He recognized it, immediately and
in a explosion of unrestricted happiness, he screamed her name and his voice
echoed for the whole Bus station. It was a scream of happiness and in the middle
of the ocean faces a beautiful
young face appeared smiling and two beautiful black eyes of dying, that appeased
the anguish of an old impassioned heart, that found again the lost love, through
a " hair peak ". These are small and infinite divine drops, that do us
happy, for a brief instant in
our ephemeral existences.
In the bus, Johnny closed the eyes, he felt Fafá to approximate his body,
sensation that gave him an incommensurable pleasure close to, difficult of being
described and he thanked God for the happy
outcome.
(Story published in the Anthology " Written Done of Love " by the House of the New Author " of São Paulo - 2003 - Pages 173 to 175).
The author dedicate that story to
his wife and companion Fátima Queiroz (Fafá), main stimulater woman of all his
literary works.
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